thoughts & such.... & love <3

So I have a lot of things that I want to express right now, and not a lot of time/energy in which to do it. So I'll be as simultaneously brief & complete as possible. Heh :P.

- to begin.... Potosí was the most profound place I've been to in Bolivia thus far. I can't wait until I'm able to post pictures, you'll be able to see exactly what I mean. As was stated by my history teacher at the very beginning of the program, had there not been Potosí, there would have been no Bolivia. The reason for this is that Potosí was Bolivia's first city (at an altitude of 14,000 feet!), established due to its massive mineral deposits which have been mined for more than 5 centuries & centered around it's most massive mining mountain called "Cerro Rico" (or "the rich mountain"). They say that there has been so much silver (and other minerals) mined from Potosí that you could build a bridge from the city all the way to Spain, and could then build a return passage with the bodies of all those who have died in the mines (more than 8 million people). Mining is such a vastly important part of Bolivia's history and identity as a nation, and it was really profound to get a chance to see it first hand (especially because it's so NOT a part of life here in Cochabamba). We got to go down in the mines, and also to meet with an organization that works with children from mining families (many of whom already work in the mines or will as soon as their families need them to). The who experience was very emotional, but offered such a profound look into part of Bolivia's evolution as a nation. If the chance ever arises and you want to know more about these issues, watch the documentary "The Devil's Miner." It's a wonderful film about Potosí which paints a colorful image of the situation for children miners in this city. 

-next we went to Sucre, which is technically the capital of Bolivia (but really only in name, as it only contains the judicial branch of the government. La Paz has everything really important :P). Sucre was founded by the owners of the mines in Potosí, who couldn't live comfortably at such an intense altitude. As such, the city is STUNNINGLY beautiful- all white, colonial-style buildings, lots of green, and lots of lovely, cultural things to do. However, the city is also very conservative and, generally, racist as a whole- indigenous people were not allowed into the very public main plaza until after 1950, and there are still hotels that won't allow indigenous people to enter. It was very interesting to be in Sucre after visiting Potosí, as it affirmed to me once again that it is SO easy to close our eyes to the structural violence implicit in our lives- to not see or calculate the real (human) costs of what we do and see. In Sucre, we also got to meet with a world-known folkloric band called "Los Masis" that works with marginalized children in Sucre to help preserve their indigenous pride & culture through music, and also visited the museum of indigenous art, where we learned about the history of textile-weaving in indigenous Bolivian culture. All things considered, it was a very informative & wonderful trip :).

- so I'm feeling a little stressed, currently. We only have 3 days in Cochabamba before we leave for a week on our trip to los salares de uyuni, and during that time I have to- 1. figure out my topic for our independent project, which begins VERY shortly after our next trip (and i have no clue, baaaaah!); 2. finish slash really DO my mini-project on children in prisons here with my friend Mira, for which I have a presentation on thursday...; 3. relax & try not to feel overwhelmed with life; 4. get caught up on reading & writing in my work journal; 5. read & meet up w/ Mira for our field research class; 6. try & spend some quality time w/ the fam. It's basically a lot, & I'm a bit overwhelmed, bah!

- I'm also just feeling a little off-kilter @ the moment. I think I finally realized that the only real way that I can love Natan right now is by really letting him be free. This is extremely hard, as I still love and miss him every day, but..... really loving him means letting go, at least for now. Ooooouch.

- for better or for worse, when I'm happy when I'm sad, when I'm stressed or when I'm totally @ peace, whatever the situation- this trip is affecting me in really important & deep ways. I'm still so grateful, & I still love you all very much :).