This is not necessarily a bad thing it's just..... the reality of the moment, I think. So much is happening, and so fast, and so intensely, and I feel like I have to be on my toes all the time- seeing, hearing, speaking, observing, learning, feeling, being. It's hard. It's really hard in a new place that's overwhelming on it's own, I think, but it's also just really hard in Spanish.
I'm not complaining- there's really nothing to complain about here. I just haven't quite adapted yet to this feeling of continuous exhaustion that accompanies all that I do here. It's just.... constant stimulus- of living with a family, & one with small children, of constantly needing to listen SUPER intently in order to understand and the constant, really intense struggle to form correct & coherent sentences, the intensity of a new, big city, the intensity of a new & vibrant culture, the intensity of an independently REALLY intense academic program & schedule, the intensity of a new group of friends that I'm trying to know, and the intensity of feeling like you need to be doing it all, all the time.........
BAH. So I guess overwhelming and intense are the words of the moment, which, as I said, is NOT a bad thing, it's just a thing, & I think it's one that reflects the magnitude of all that I'm experiencing here.
Nevertheless- I'm still so in love with Bolivia. And I think after a few weeks have gone by and I'm not quite so overwhelmed/exhausted, I'll be able to feel a little more centered/calm in my own skin :). So yeah. Con calma, todo va a ser bien :).
No comments:
Post a Comment